I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
