hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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