yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
