i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
