in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
