dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
