Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
