We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
