i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize