I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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