Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
