bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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