lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
