It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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