your thong is hanging out like whoa
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
