Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
FUCK WHALES
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
