i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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