stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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