She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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