So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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