omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
