3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
