I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
