There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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