i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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