You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
