i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
