she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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