Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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