I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
