im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
