I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
