Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize