After last night, I could never be a politician.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize