Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
