why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
