Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
