you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
