Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
