anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
