They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
