i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I need moral support for this bender
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
