Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
