so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm like, not good at living.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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