Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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