you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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