Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
