Its about making memories worth repressing
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
