You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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