college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
