hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
