what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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