did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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