peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
this just has baby written all over it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
