I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
