I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
