I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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