seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
