Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
