I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
