Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
wow bdsm is so cute
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize