How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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