Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
