Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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