dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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