And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
